BOU AVENUE
Szczeliniec Wielki
On 15 August 2023, Zosia Zgolak and I hiked up Szczeliniec Wielki located in Poland's Park Narodowy Gór Stołowych (Table Mountains National Park).  Szczeliniec Wielki is another of the 28 Crown of Polish Mountains, but climbing the summit is probably the least interesting aspect about the mountain.  True to the range's name, the mountain is largely flat but raised above the surrounding landscape.  Over time, erosion has created numerous fissures and hoodoos scattered across the mountain top, and the park service has built and installed boardwalks, railings, chains and staircases to facilitate safe exploration of the many interesting rock features.  As such, off-trail hiking and scrambling is strictly prohibited on the mountain.  While most people apparently begin hiking from the nearby village of Karłów to the south, we would drive to a smaller but higher trailhead located on the northwest side of the mountain.

Zosia and I arrived quite early in the morning at the northwest trailhead, and thankfully, there were still plenty of parking spots available.  We started off by following a trail marked by yellow and white blazes heading southward.  Less than 400 metres from the trailhead, we turned left at a signed junction, and after a short climb, we arrived at Na Szczelińcu, a commercial lodge located at the top of the northwestern cliffs of the mountain.  A few people, presumably some of the lodge guests, were already milling about the outside of the lodge, but all of the tourist kiosks including the one that collects park entrance fees were still closed.  Proceeding past the lodge, we soon reached the rock formation known as Tron Liczyrzepy (Liczyrzepa Throne) which is the highest point of Szczeliniec Wielki.  A metal staircase and viewing platform simplify tagging the summit.

With the summit out of the way, Zosia and I were free to explore the remaining rock features on Szczeliniec Wielki.  We followed what is essentially the only sanctioned trail running across the top of the mountain, and along the way, we descended into Hell, climbed up to Heaven, and encountered a host of stony characters which mostly resembled animals.  In some spots, we had to crawl on our knees or suck in our stomachs in order to squeeze through tight passageways, and the whole place felt like a carnival funhouse.  Fortunately, we were able to do all our exploring in relative solitude and managed to escape the mountain just as crowds were beginning to accumulate.

Yep, looks like a flat top.

Here is Szczeliniec Wielki as seen from the access road to the south.

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign, blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind, do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign? The trailhead seems to be inundated with signs.
Walking here is quite trippy!

The trail on the initial part of the climb is quite rooty.
Nerfed exploration! Boardwalks, staircases and railings typify much of the access on the upper plateau of Szczeliniec Wielki.
Fanciest walk-in hut ever!

Zosia arrives at Na Szczelińcu, a commercial shelter located at the top of the mountain's northwestern cliffs.
Zosia is actually pointing to where we will be going the next day! The viewpoints near the shelter have convenient overlays for identifying distant landmarks.
The early bird gets the worm!

The ticket kiosk is still closed at this early hour.
Tagging a summit doesn't get any easier than this!

Zosia climbs up Tron Liczyrzepy (Liczyrzepa Throne).
We didn't think it was a good idea to sit on the actual rock beyond the railing. Sonny and Zosia sit on Liczyrzepa Throne, the highest point of Szczeliniec Wielki (923 metres).
Quack, quack! This is looking west from the top of Liczyrzepa Throne.  At right is the rock formation known as Kaczęta (Duckling).
I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-ZEE!

Małpolud (Ape) is the name of this rock formation.
Quite the hell hole! Zosia points down into Diabelska Kuchnia (Devil's Kitchen) which is the entrance to Piekiełko (Hell).
Where's Gordon Ramsay?

Zosia finds herself inside Devil's Kitchen.
I guess there are no fat people in Hell! Zosia squeezes through a tight passageway to enter Hell.
Hell is so overrated! Zosia escapes Hell under an enormous chockstone.
If you want to get to Heaven, you got to raise a little Hell! After climbing out of Hell, Zosia finds herself in Niebo (Heaven).
Kinda how I feel some days at work...

Sonny needs to get down on his hands and knees to get through this passageway.

Photo courtesy of Zosia Zgolak
Here a cluck, there a cluck, everywhere a cluck, cluck... Zosia does the Bird Dance in front of the Kwoka (Hen).
A horse is a horse, of course, of course; And no one can talk to a horse of course; That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed! Zosia extends a hand under Koński Łeb (Horse head).
It's a good thing you can't get lost in here...or can you? Zosia walks through yet another interesting passageway.
Whatcha talkin' bout, Willis? The final rock formation at the southeast end of the mountain is labeled on older park maps as Głowa Murzyna (Head of the Negro), but a new sign nearby (obscured here by Zosia) reads as the more politically correct Gadające Głowy (Talking Heads).
Yep, time to make like a hockey player and get the puck outta here! By mid-morning, Liczyrzepa Throne is already overrun by tourists.
A rocky funhouse--come early to avoid the crowds! Total Distance:  4.5 kilometres
Round-Trip Time:  3 hours 40 minutes
Cumulative Elevation Gain:  159 metres

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